The Story of Our Journey

I decided it would be awesome to give some people a little hope. Miracles happen everyday and I wanted to share mine.


I remember laying in bed crying. The tears just streamed down my face and I didn't know what to say.
It was the day after my first laproscopy. They had to go in and remove a 10cm tumor from my right ovary.
What I did not know at this point was that it was full of endometriosis. And so was my uterus.
My husband had been acting very odd that day and the night before (from what I could remember), so I asked him
what was going on. "The doctor said that you probably didn't know what was going on after surgery, and that he
didn't want to have to tell you when you were all drugged up. You have severe stage IV endometriosis. The tumor
was filled with it and he couldn't get all of it out. This could mean that it could be very difficult to conceive
a child. He wants you to go on something called Lupron Therapy for 6 months to help suppress the endo until you
are ready to conceive."

All I can remember thinking is "ready to conceive?!!?" I hadn't finished college up yet and I was barely 24 years
old. My husband and I weren't in a place that we were even close to ready to have a baby. We needed to work on us
before that happened. This felt like the end for me. It had been my lifelong dream to have children. I knew that
I would make such a good mother.

I went on the Lupron Therapy as advised by my doctor. 4 months of hot flashes, headaches, mood swings, and weight
gain later, I had an appointment with the doctor. My endo pains had mostly subsided because I wasn't getting my cycle
anymore. The one nagging pain was in my right ovary where the tumor had been. It was AWFUL pain. The doctor
recommended another lap and I had to come to terms with the fact that he might have to take my right ovary out.

My second lap was in April of 2007. My doctor did a partial ooectomy of my right side and rebuilt the tube on my
left side saying that it was unlikely that the tube would stay in it's place long. My bowel was connected to my
left ovary which wasn't surprising because I had awful issues with my bowel movements. He gave me devastating news
after this. "You have about a 15% chance of conceiving naturally in your condition, if you are ready to try, I would
go straight to in vitro fertilization."

I had no insurance coverage for this. 15,000$ out of pocket was not feasible for us on our income. We decided at
this point that I would finish up the lupron therapy, then start trying for 6 months. I found out within the next
couple of months that IVF was covered through my company. I could sign up for the insurance in January of 08'.

I was ecstatic! So we decided to try for the months leading up to IVF. I had tried clomid for a month in November
just to give us a little extra boost. It gave me mood swings, I was throwing up and very bloated and crampy. So
in December, in order to enjoy our holidays, we took time off from all medical intervention. No timed intercourse
no temping, no laying down with my butt up in the air hoping the sperm would float to the right place.

December 29th, 2007 I still hadn't gotten my period yet. I thought it was strange because I felt like I was going
to, but it never came. I had to decide if I really wanted to test or not. "Do I really want another let down,
do I really want to see another stark white pregnancy test?" Against my husband's wishes, I went to Walmart at 11pm.
I got a pack of two pregnancy tests. I got back and went to the bathroom, peed on the stick and set it down. Before
I could even set it down, both lines came up at the same time! It was so surreal. I was like "maybe I'm not reading
the directions right" but I knew in my heart that it was positive! I shrieked. I balled like a little kid. I ran
out and got Adam and yelled "It's positive!" He couldn't believe it either. We were both in disbelief and shock.

About 4-6 weeks before we were going to start our IVF cycle, a miracle happened. We had taken the month off from
everything and when we least expected it, we were pregnant with our miracle baby. I'm 9 weeks pregnant now and aside
from morning sickness, I feel great! It just goes to show that nobody can tell you what your body is going to do.
Nobody can play God. They can take an educated guess as to what your chances are, but there is ALWAYS hope. We are
so grateful to this day for our little miracle baby.

Sorry If I confused anyone

Sorry if I confused anyone with the answers I gave to the recent survey I posted. I didn't know that I had copy and pasted the original senders:) Here is mine


1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Nope, my middle name is my mom's first name though

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? this morning

3.DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Most of the time

4.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? please don't ask me this right now

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? one on the way :)

6.IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Yep! I'm a good friend!

7.DO YOU USE SARCASM? yes

8.DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes

9.WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No

10.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? honey nut cheerios

11.DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No

12.DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? sometimes

13.WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? right now, just plain vanilla


14.WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Smile and attitude

15.RED OR PINK? pink

16.WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? negativity

17.WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My grandparents

18.DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? nope, but it would be fun finding out more about people
19.WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? black sweats and a sweatshirt, and I'm still freezing
20.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? chicken parm sandwich, it's stayed down for now

21.WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the tv

22.IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? brown

23.FAVORITE SMELLS? spring

24.WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Adam

25.DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?nobody sent it to me

26.FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? hockey!

27.HAIR COLOR? dark brown with red highlights at the moment

29.DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? nope

30.FAVORITE FOOD?none right now, food is gross, ask me in ten minutes

31.SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy

32.LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Juno

33.WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? baby blue

34.SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer

35.Hugs or kisses? Hugs

36.FAVORITE DESSERT? NOTHING, NO MORE FOOD QUESTIONS

37.MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Dunno

38.LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?Dunno

39.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? What to Expect When You're Expecting and Your Pregnancy, Week by Week

40.WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? optical mouse, don't need one

42.FAVORITE SOUNDS? Adam saying I love you

43.ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Neither

44.WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?California

45.DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT YOU ENJOY SHARING? I can touch my toungue IN my nose
46.WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Massena, New York

Another Ultra Sound today:)

So things just keep getting better and better. My ultrasound measured me at 7 weeks 4 days today. We heard the heartbeat today, it was music to my ears!!! The u/s tech said the baby looks wonderful. No more high risk ultrasounds, my next appointment is next Tuesday for a prenatal appointment. Unfortunately it's with a midwife and I wanted a doctor, but Adam and I are going to be sure it's a doctor delivering, preferably the doctor I've trusted all along. Don't get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against midwives, natural childbirth, and soothing noises, but I really just want my doctor who knows me and my needs.

I will blog after next appointment. We got u/s pics today, but they are really crappy and you can't see much, so I'm not going to post them. I will email anyone who wants them!!

The baby is in the correct place!

So our first official ultra sound was yesterday! We saw the sac and the yolk, it measured at about 5 weeks! Not as far along as we thought, but that’s ok, it’s in the correct place, it’s not in my tubes or floating around somewhere, it’s in my uterus. That was our number one fear. They are treating this just like a normal pregnancy now that my betas were good and my first ultra sound was perfect.

My pains have subsided somewhat, other than that, I am having wicked salty cravings. I need pickle juice. I know, I know, it’s really bad for me, but I’m drinking like 12 bottles of water a day. Lots of food is turning me off and my sense of smell is through the roof.

Our next ultra sound is on the 21^st. We will be able to see the heartbeat and it will look sort of like a baby by then!

Adam and I consider ourselves so lucky. This is the miracle baby we have wanted. I can’t believe that today I canceled my initial consult with my new fertility specialist. We no longer need him. Wow, what a miracle. We are so grateful for this baby.

Here’s the good stuff!

Doesn't he/she look just like me?