Thursday, January 31, 2008

The Story of Our Journey

I decided it would be awesome to give some people a little hope. Miracles happen everyday and I wanted to share mine.

I remember laying in bed crying. The tears just streamed down my face and I didn't know what to say.
It was the day after my first laproscopy. They had to go in and remove a 10cm tumor from my right ovary.
What I did not know at this point was that it was full of endometriosis. And so was my uterus.
My husband had been acting very odd that day and the night before (from what I could remember), so I asked him
what was going on. "The doctor said that you probably didn't know what was going on after surgery, and that he
didn't want to have to tell you when you were all drugged up. You have severe stage IV endometriosis. The tumor
was filled with it and he couldn't get all of it out. This could mean that it could be very difficult to conceive
a child. He wants you to go on something called Lupron Therapy for 6 months to help suppress the endo until you
are ready to conceive."

All I can remember thinking is "ready to conceive?!!?" I hadn't finished college up yet and I was barely 24 years
old. My husband and I weren't in a place that we were even close to ready to have a baby. We needed to work on us
before that happened. This felt like the end for me. It had been my lifelong dream to have children. I knew that
I would make such a good mother.

I went on the Lupron Therapy as advised by my doctor. 4 months of hot flashes, headaches, mood swings, and weight
gain later, I had an appointment with the doctor. My endo pains had mostly subsided because I wasn't getting my cycle
anymore. The one nagging pain was in my right ovary where the tumor had been. It was AWFUL pain. The doctor
recommended another lap and I had to come to terms with the fact that he might have to take my right ovary out.

My second lap was in April of 2007. My doctor did a partial ooectomy of my right side and rebuilt the tube on my
left side saying that it was unlikely that the tube would stay in it's place long. My bowel was connected to my
left ovary which wasn't surprising because I had awful issues with my bowel movements. He gave me devastating news
after this. "You have about a 15% chance of conceiving naturally in your condition, if you are ready to try, I would
go straight to in vitro fertilization."

I had no insurance coverage for this. 15,000$ out of pocket was not feasible for us on our income. We decided at
this point that I would finish up the lupron therapy, then start trying for 6 months. I found out within the next
couple of months that IVF was covered through my company. I could sign up for the insurance in January of 08'.

I was ecstatic! So we decided to try for the months leading up to IVF. I had tried clomid for a month in November
just to give us a little extra boost. It gave me mood swings, I was throwing up and very bloated and crampy. So
in December, in order to enjoy our holidays, we took time off from all medical intervention. No timed intercourse
no temping, no laying down with my butt up in the air hoping the sperm would float to the right place.

December 29th, 2007 I still hadn't gotten my period yet. I thought it was strange because I felt like I was going
to, but it never came. I had to decide if I really wanted to test or not. "Do I really want another let down,
do I really want to see another stark white pregnancy test?" Against my husband's wishes, I went to Walmart at 11pm.
I got a pack of two pregnancy tests. I got back and went to the bathroom, peed on the stick and set it down. Before
I could even set it down, both lines came up at the same time! It was so surreal. I was like "maybe I'm not reading
the directions right" but I knew in my heart that it was positive! I shrieked. I balled like a little kid. I ran
out and got Adam and yelled "It's positive!" He couldn't believe it either. We were both in disbelief and shock.

About 4-6 weeks before we were going to start our IVF cycle, a miracle happened. We had taken the month off from
everything and when we least expected it, we were pregnant with our miracle baby. I'm 9 weeks pregnant now and aside
from morning sickness, I feel great! It just goes to show that nobody can tell you what your body is going to do.
Nobody can play God. They can take an educated guess as to what your chances are, but there is ALWAYS hope. We are
so grateful to this day for our little miracle baby.


Carrie said...

What a beautiful story, Christa! We are all so grateful for this miracle in our family.

jannandpat said...

It is so wonderful to read your happy, positive, upbeat blogs. It was hard to read the ones when you were so unhappy. This one is great and I know it will give other couples hope. You don't have to be "ready" to start a family: old enough, enough money, enough education, a big enough home. When the baby arrives, you will wonder why you ever hesitated! Jann and I are thrilled to have this miracle baby on the way. Love to all three of you, Pat said...

Wow. When I had my lap, they found the almost the exact same thing. My left ovary was completely stuck to my bowels and the doc didn't want to touch it. Went on 1 cycle of lupron and hated it, it made me feel awful. Haven't been on bcp or anything for more than a year.